VIEWS ON MARRIAGE

Working in Salado

October 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I just took a “barely above minimum wage” job one day a week at a home decor shop here (Charlotte’s of Salado). After ten years of self-employment, I felt like it would be good to try being an employee again and to learn something new. I chose Charlotte’s because I think the world of Charlotte Douglass and am looking forward to being around her and getting to know her.

Terry’s high end handyman business takes him out into the community and into people’s homes so he has quickly developed close relationships that have been hard with my travel schedule and work from home or in Austin. I’m hoping to develop some of those kinds of relationships by working at Charlotte’s. Besides, it’s great fun hanging out with Charlotte, Manuela, and Becky and the other fringe benefits – employee discounts, delicious coffee and a cheerful atmosphere – make it worth my while.

charlottes

It’s interesting how quickly it has made me a “member of the club.” I learned more about my community in the one day I worked than I had in the past year. Well, that may be an exaggeration, but the social invitations ARE rolling in! Go figure.
Charlotte’s is a great little store packed with beautiful home decorations – lamps, table runners, candles, flower arrangements, throw pillows, table scarves and wall hangings. Since it’s fall, we have (ooh, I like being able to say “we”) table runners in oranges and browns, and fall food art. Of course we have plenty of my favorite coffee, Seasons of Salado. (It’s available online if you can’t make it to Salado.) I wish blogs and smellovision or scratch and sniff so you could experience the heavenly aromas I get to smell at work! Most of my paycheck is going for coffee so I can honestly say that I’m working for beans.
I’m also hoping that I will be able to learn how to create those wonderful flower arrangements and wreaths that Charlotte is so famous for. On my first day on the job, I sold a wreath leaving a bare space on the wall. When I asked Charlotte what I should do to fill it, she said, “you say to me, ‘Charlotte, make another wreath!’” So I did and in no time, she appeared with this majestic fall wreath…

…complete with a full-sized pumpkin (I think it’s made of suet, but you wouldn’t want the squirrels to get to it).

A day later, it was sold!

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A Very Special and Happy Birthday

May 2, 2009 · 1 Comment

My very clever and beautiful wife has done many special things. But to wake up on your birthday and be greeted by this sign………. Well, let me tell you, it makes me smile ear to ear. Taylor then proceeded to make my day special in very subtle and loving ways. She has shown me how much she loves me over and over for the past year. My love has grown for her at such a rate, I believe, at times, my heart will just explode.

I had the joy of hearing from friends around the globe. One from Australia, greeted me with a note first thing. More from Florida, Texas, North Carolina, Pennsylvania and Michigan sent notes and greetings all day. Later in the evening, I heard from my daughter and ex-brother-in-law. Dinner with my in-laws and wife was excellent! We ate, talked and laughed well into the evening.

I have received greeting from numerous technologies. ie. Facebook, iChat, Google and Yahoo mail, Mac mail, Twitter and blog posts as well as numerous phone calls. I also received a card via snail mail, can you imagine that.

All in all, I had a great birthday and want to thank all of my family and friends for making it special.

. A

→ 1 CommentCategories: Birthdays · Celebrations · Falling in Love · Family · Friends · Simple Pleasures · Use of technology

Terry Starts a New Venture

April 29, 2009 · 3 Comments

OMG, I can’t believe how far behind we are! Much to catch up, but not now. It’s way too late in the evening and my back hurts way too much. (more about that later, if I feel like it!) Anyway, Terry just completed an intense one-week course and passed the written exam to be a nationally certified Home Energy Auditor. In just seven hours he’ll be taking his field test that has a 30% pass rate. I’m confident he’ll pass, but I won’t get my knickers in a knot if he doesn’t. (What’s the pass rate for the Texas Bar?)

Anyway, don’t tell him, but this is the note I’m tucking in his binder:

My darling Terry,

You have given me many reasons to be proud of you and to believe in you, but never as much as you have in the past two weeks. Your dedication to your studies, your creativity in learning new and difficult materials, your organization, your studiousness, and your ability to navigate an obviously flawed system has inspired me. What I wouldn’t give to have a class full of students like you!

I know that you will do well on the test and that you are “top 30%” material. You are my top .00000000000000000009% material!

I am proud to be married to you. I am proud of how hard you work and how dedicated you are to making a more secure life for us. I am proud of the relationship you are building with you daughter and I am proud of the business that you are building. Without question you are on the cutting edge of an industry that is destined to grow. You know so much and you learn so quickly that I’m convinced you will build a prosperous business and be as secure in your financial future as you are in our future as husband and wife.

I give you many thoughts, many prayers – not that you pass, for I know that you will – but I will pray for you to have peace, focus, confidence and wisdom.

I love you very much

Am I just too weird? Maybe so, but don’t let that stop you from praying for his success!

→ 3 CommentsCategories: Money

Taylor’s Texas Wedding Potatoes

February 14, 2009 · 1 Comment

While Terry was doing battle with the septic tank, I was at a brunch to recognize the many volunteers for the Salado Public Library. As a library board trustee, I took on the responsibility for bringing a potato dish. My favorite is the recipe my mom made for my wedding so I took the liberty of renaming it even though it’s not an original recipe. (Will the recipe copyright people be coming to get me?)

I’d post a picture, but there’s not a scrap left. Terry and I inhaled the second casserole dish I made that was supposed to get us through the weekend!
•    2lb. frozen hash brown potatoes (you can also use Potatoes O’Brien with onions and green peppers.)
•    1 large onion chopped
•    2 Cans Cream of Chicken soup (I use healthy request or some low fat soup)
•    1 pt. sour cream (Again, I go for the low-cal brand)
•    1 8 oz. package of cream cheese (need I repeat myself – low-fat or fat-free, again!)
•    1 package Pepperidge Farm Herb stuffing mix (OK, I’m guessing this was originally a recipe on the back of their box. Really, any stuffing will do and I’ve even added crumbled up HEB Wheat and flax crackers, but make sure your guests aren’t allergic to wheat)
•    1 stick margarine melted

Mix potatoes and onion. Place in a large greased baking dish. (I used a 13*9*2 AND still had to put some in another dish! Layer in two dishes, if you like and freeze one for later.) Mix soup, cream cheese, and sour cream in the mixer and pour over potatoes. Sprinkle with cheese. Toss stuffing mix with melted butter and sprinkle over cheese. Bake at 350 for 1½ hours. (Less if the potatoes are thawed.)

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Sleepless nights

February 14, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I do not sleep as readily or as soundly as my husband.

He collapses into the slumber I so desire.

He is peaceful.

Snoring.

Softly.

He is relaxed – in repose – I long to join him.

I will soon.

When my mind is quieted.

When the songs racing through my mind swell

Then resolve.

Tho I am fitful in the eve, he is peaceful

Perhaps exhausted.

Tomorrow many heavy thoughts will consume his energy and I will make all attempts to appease.

By night’s fall

his frets allayed

my vigil begins.

again.

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Love and Septic Tanks

February 14, 2009 · 1 Comment

@360love announced that they would post your Valentine Tweets today and tomorrow. So here’s what I had to say first thing this morning.

I guess it wasn’t romantic enough because it’s not showing up on their web site. According to my calculations, my tweet should be appearing right about here in between @RichardAZ and @bobgarrett.

Now I realize that my tweet may not have seemed romantic. Even my friend Harris once asked if I had gotten married or hired a handyman!

But wait until you hear the whole story – all of the stuff that doesn’t fit in 140 characters.

Terry insisted on digging down to the septic tank clean out to save us the $50 per hour to have Yount Sewer do it. After digging four holes through rock, clay and roots yesterday, he called Yount who assured him that they could find it and would give us a break if Terry wanted to help dig.

Well, two more holes later this morning and still no sign of the cleanout. Terry sent them on their way, called the Health Department to secure a map of the location of the tank and discovered that it was not at all in the place any of them had expected.

But even that was not enough to actually get to the clean-out so the sewer company suggested we rent a back hoe.

A back hoe!!!

Instead, my dear husband (wanting to save me money) drove to Temple to get a metal detector that would register when he hovered over the re bar reinforcement in the lid frame and clean out handle.

My dad offered to share the cost since he was due so my dear husband took it to my parents and dug up their septic tank before returning to the field of holes in our own backyard.

Finally 10 hours after he began digging, the two cleanouts are liberated. Now we wait until we can get back on the septic service dude’s calendar.

Terry is beat.

And he’s tired.

And he needs food, and love, and a funny movie.

Perhaps even a massage.

And I’ll tend to him as he tended to our home today.

Of all of the symbols of Valentine’s Day – flowers, candy, fancy dinners and champagne – the most un-Valentine’s-Day-like thing would have to be sewage.

But I look at this hand-dug hole in my backyard …

…and I think about the the aching back that did what needed to be done and the blisters that will surely be tender tomorrow.

Our love began with a flurry of romantic rendezvous in Chicago and New York. The grandeur of the opera palaces and the intimacy of romantic dinners were intoxicating. And I treasure those memories of a whirlwind romance that played out at a dizzying speed in dazzling environments.

But what I believe in my heart, is that sometimes love is most fully expressed when elusive septic tanks are conquered.

This is how I know that our love is as tough and rock solid as the Central Texas clay and bedrock in our backyard.

And now, my husband needs me. Or at least I owe him my attention.

→ 1 CommentCategories: Around The House · Celebrations · Falling in Love · Simple Pleasures

Seeking Ideas for New Year’s Eve

December 30, 2008 · 2 Comments

Newlyweds seeking advice for first new year’s eve as married couple. That’s what the ad would read, but since we’re bloggers, that’s what will show up on my Twitter and hopefully we’ll get some good ideas.

This time last year, we were ‘tweeners – between Terry’s romantic proposal on December 15, 2007 beside the Christmas Tree at Lincoln Center in NY following the opera War and Peace and my acceptance, which didn’t come until January 1, 2008. While we were together last year on New Year’s Eve, we didn’t really do anything special that we can carry over as a New Year’s Eve tradition.

So here we are a year later and happily married, but stumped for good ideas for New Year’s Eve. We know that we don’t want to go out, but I hope we get to dance in the garden room to our favorite playlists. We don’t want to eat extravagantly, but we do like experimenting with interesting foods. We love movies, but it seems like it would have to be something special.

It’s almost too much pressure to come up with just the right agenda!

So we’re asking for your advice. What are some of your favorite romantic traditions for New Year’s Eve? What is our favorite New Year’s Eve tradition? @bradrourke, @dswedlow, @johncr8on, and others with children, how would you make the it special if you DIDN’T have the kids for the evening?

→ 2 CommentsCategories: Advice · Celebrations · Simple Pleasures

Hearing the excitement again

December 12, 2008 · Leave a Comment

(Terry wrote about me going to SXSW on the terrycrain@wordpress.com blog on March 11, 2008. I’m posting it here now because this year, we’ll be going together and he won’t be stuck in Michigan. YEAH!!!)

March 11, 2008 I was talking with Taylor last night, as she explained the sites and sounds from the national conference South By Southwest in Austin. The excitement in her voice and the smile I could feel on her face as she told me about the “25 foot white rattlesnake across the street”. I was bursting with joy and pride in her as I reflected on the events she portrayed to me. In those moments I was there with her and seeing all that the great state of Texas and all the up and coming gamers and bloggers and innovators in the field, had to show and offer.

If at all possible I would like to attend with Taylor next year. The insight these people have and the excitement they are putting forward is catchy and makes me want to be a part of that.

She told me the story of a presenter who has made a career of collecting peoples secrets. The stories he told, had the audience choked up ( as I was just from listening to Taylor describe the events). I had to go to the web site and check this guy out. It is wonderful what these innovators are doing.

I know that Taylor is in the right path for being one of these innovators and feel she is in the exact place she needs to be to pick up the guidance and information to move forward.

For more information go to SXSW.com and see the excitement for yourself.

December 11, 2008 I’m SOOOO looking forward to going to SXSW with Terry this year, but I have a feeling he doesn’t know what he’s getting into and will be blown away. Then again, he’s a planner so he’ll probably have a better idea of what to expect and how to navigate SXSW than I did my first year out!

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Fixing up the house (Up on the Roof!)

December 10, 2008 · 2 Comments

It has been amazing to watch Terry work around the house here. He’s an artist.

It was just about this time of year last year when he asked me to marry him. It was so romantic – under the Christmas tree at Lincoln Center after the opera. But I didn’t say “yes” until after he came to visit me for two weeks and co-hosted a party between Christmas and New Years. One morning sitting in the garden room, he looked up at the ceiling that was leaking and said, “This has a 1 12 pitch and should be at least a 4 12. I’m going to fix that for you.”

I joke that I fell in love with him at that very moment, but that’s not true because:

  1. I was already in love with him
  2. well, like I said, I was already in love with him, but that morning stands out because it was the first time I realized that I was falling in love with him over and over again at unexpected moments for seemingly insignificant things.

Less than one year later, he is making good on his promise and is working his tush off rewiring, adding (it seems like miles of) propane tubing for two fireplaces, plotting the wiring for a drop down TV screen in the kitchen, add wiring for three mood lights, installing registers and tubes that are used for heating and air-conditioning.

So I share excerpts fo an e-mail exchange I enjoyed with a good soul

On Dec 8, 2008, at 12:27 PM, Harris J. Sokoloff wrote:

almost forgot two things: the second much more important than the first:

1. Take a look at the first item on http://www.gse.upenn.edu/commentary

2. How the heck are you? How’s married life?

To which I responded

Married life is wonderful!!! I am so sickeningly in love.

Hubby has removed roof over garden room and is installing heat, air, and propane so I can have fire places in living room and garden room. Will be posting video and photos on our blog later today. Been way behind on writing! http://www.viewsonmariage.wordpress.com

On Dec 8, 2008, at 12:34 PM, Harris J. Sokoloff wrote:

Taylor,

I wish for you what I have with Michele and what we work on: continued love and affection and support…..

But tell me, did you get married or hire an handy man?

Now here’s the meat of what I want serve. Here’s an explanation of why I so quickly framed my love for him in terms of his handiness with our roof:

Ah, he is a handyman, but the real reason for that story is to illustrate how hard he works to make things extra special for me. (some of the other special things he does for me, I keep private!) Also, I’ve just been marveling at his knowledge and ability as I’ve watched him do this work. Before we were married, I struggled with the decision to marry someone who is flat broke and not college-educated. But he constantly amazes me and I fall in love with him more and more every day. I’ve come to appreciate that he’s one of the smartest people I know. He’s started his own custom home repair and renovation business and every time we are at a social function in town, his clients introduce him as THE guy to call for anything you need done. I’m very proud of his talents and how much everyone in this town has embraced him.

But I so adore Harris and his lovely wife Michele that I also wanted to acknowledge how a small example from their marriage was a lesson I follow in my relationship with Terry. (My parents are at the top of the list of relationships I want to emulate!) So I continued:

You and Michele HAVE been one of our guides. Very early in our marriage, I told Terry about the time we went out to dinner with another couple. I remember how cranky the other wife was and how lovely Michele was even when you were kicking yourself for parking in the expensive garage. She just smiled sweetly and said, “well, what’s done is done. We’ll know better next time.” I use those lines a lot and it’s made my life so much more pleasant. In fact we had to use lines very much like those about a month ago when someone broke into Terry’s truck, stole his tools, found the key to the shop I bought for him and stole everything in the shop. It set us back a few days replacing everything, but my homeowner’s insurance took very good care of us so no financial hits. Terry was great through the whole thing – “It’s just stuff; as long as we still have each other…” He’s got the best attitude – even though he’s still paying $20,000 a year for a money pit (his house in Michigan) that was the only thing he got out of his divorce. (I, on the other hand have my bouts of anger at his ex!)

Terry is doing this work because it is his way of showing me how much he loves me and because we are building a home together. I feel so lucky.

→ 2 CommentsCategories: Around The House · Homes and Houses · Simple Pleasures

We Twitter

November 23, 2008 · 1 Comment

I just re-read a twitter exchange Terry (@tacrain57 for you twitterers) and I shared last April before he moved here and we got married.

from @taylorwill: Lesson for the day: Boiling eggs do not like to be ignored and will let you know by exploding all over your kitchen. Guess what I’m doing

and also from @taylorwill: I don’t just have egg on my face, its on my floor, my ceiling, my fridge, my stove, my microwave, my cabinets, my table, my light fixtures

from @tacrain57: I guess after I get to Texas, I may need to take over part of the kitchen duties. I think I can still boil an egg. LOL Sorry honey.

After a day of cooking pounds and pounds of pumpkin with you, honey, may I suggest that we share kitchen duties. I had a ball with you today.

(But I won’t complain if you make the bacon and eggs tomorrow morning and bring me my NY Times and coffee in bed!)

→ 1 CommentCategories: Around The House · Food · Simple Pleasures
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