Fixing up the house (Up on the Roof!)

It has been amazing to watch Terry work around the house here. He’s an artist.

It was just about this time of year last year when he asked me to marry him. It was so romantic – under the Christmas tree at Lincoln Center after the opera. But I didn’t say “yes” until after he came to visit me for two weeks and co-hosted a party between Christmas and New Years. One morning sitting in the garden room, he looked up at the ceiling that was leaking and said, “This has a 1 12 pitch and should be at least a 4 12. I’m going to fix that for you.”

I joke that I fell in love with him at that very moment, but that’s not true because:

1. I was already in love with him
2. well, like I said, I was already in love with him, but that morning stands out because it was the first time I realized that I was falling in love with him over and over again at unexpected moments for seemingly insignificant things.

Less than one year later, he is making good on his promise and is working his tush off rewiring, adding (it seems like miles of) propane tubing for two fireplaces, plotting the wiring for a drop down TV screen in the kitchen, add wiring for three mood lights, installing registers and tubes that are used for heating and air-conditioning.

So I share excerpts fo an e-mail exchange I enjoyed with a good soul

On Dec 8, 2008, at 12:27 PM, Harris J. Sokoloff wrote:

almost forgot two things: the second much more important than the first:

1. Take a look at the first item on http://www.gse.upenn.edu/commentary

2. How the heck are you? How’s married life?

To which I responded

Married life is wonderful!!! I am so sickeningly in love.

Hubby has removed roof over garden room and is installing heat, air, and propane so I can have fire places in living room and garden room. Will be posting video and photos on our blog later today. Been way behind on writing! http://www.viewsonmariage.wordpress.com

On Dec 8, 2008, at 12:34 PM, Harris J. Sokoloff wrote:

Taylor,

I wish for you what I have with Michele and what we work on: continued love and affection and support…..

But tell me, did you get married or hire an handy man?

Now here’s the meat of what I want serve. Here’s an explanation of why I so quickly framed my love for him in terms of his handiness with our roof:

Ah, he is a handyman, but the real reason for that story is to illustrate how hard he works to make things extra special for me. (some of the other special things he does for me, I keep private!) Also, I’ve just been marveling at his knowledge and ability as I’ve watched him do this work. Before we were married, I struggled with the decision to marry someone who is flat broke and not college-educated. But he constantly amazes me and I fall in love with him more and more every day. I’ve come to appreciate that he’s one of the smartest people I know. He’s started his own custom home repair and renovation business and every time we are at a social function in town, his clients introduce him as THE guy to call for anything you need done. I’m very proud of his talents and how much everyone in this town has embraced him.

But I so adore Harris and his lovely wife Michele that I also wanted to acknowledge how a small example from their marriage was a lesson I follow in my relationship with Terry. (My parents are at the top of the list of relationships I want to emulate!) So I continued:

You and Michele HAVE been one of our guides. Very early in our marriage, I told Terry about the time we went out to dinner with another couple. I remember how cranky the other wife was and how lovely Michele was even when you were kicking yourself for parking in the expensive garage. She just smiled sweetly and said, “well, what’s done is done. We’ll know better next time.” I use those lines a lot and it’s made my life so much more pleasant. In fact we had to use lines very much like those about a month ago when someone broke into Terry’s truck, stole his tools, found the key to the shop I bought for him and stole everything in the shop. It set us back a few days replacing everything, but my homeowner’s insurance took very good care of us so no financial hits. Terry was great through the whole thing – “It’s just stuff; as long as we still have each other…” He’s got the best attitude – even though he’s still paying $20,000 a year for a money pit (his house in Michigan) that was the only thing he got out of his divorce. (I, on the other hand have my bouts of anger at his ex!)

Terry is doing this work because it is his way of showing me how much he loves me and because we are building a home together. I feel so lucky.